There is something you need to see, sir. We have found the remnants of an ancient artifact lodged in your hypothalamus. It is a cylindrical object, piss-weathered and smelling of liquor. The paint is
peeling off, but you can clearly make out the letters GREEK MONARCHY RESTORATION on the hull. It appears that some time ago, before you became a joke, you were an actual Greek monarch. Somehow you’ve come to that conclusion. Perhaps you can work your way back?
... show more